


Home it's not a place, it's a person

by 221bucky



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It, Happy Ending, M/M, POV Bucky Barnes, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-28 18:23:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18761887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221bucky/pseuds/221bucky
Summary: endgame spoilers ahead!!!The moment Bucky found out it was only Steve who was going to return the stones, he knew.A fix-it for Steve's ending that explains what happened on his trip!





	Home it's not a place, it's a person

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first time i've published something here so thank you for reading i hope you enjoy it!!   
> twitter: @nightbarnes

The moment Bucky found out it was only Steve who was going to return the stones, he knew. Steve was a lot of things, but if he was anything specially, it was predictable. So when he told Sam it was something he had to do alone, he wasn't surprised at all. The thing is, he wanted Steve to be happy and live the life he deserved, but he couldn't shake the bitterness he felt after the realisation he was being left behind by the most important person in his life. 

So when Steve said “Don't do anything stupid until I get back.” he smiled at him and replied back his phrase “how can I? you're taking all the stupid with you.” because this was Steve -his Steve who was leaving him for someone he met 80 years ago-, and Bucky needed him to know he'd be okay, even if it wasn't true. Not that he'd be there to see it though. But then they hugged, and Bucky couldn't keep the act up anymore and stop smiling. Then he said he would miss him, because how can he not? He just came back from the dead, again, fought the same purple asshole again and he was losing his best friend, the person who's always meant home to him, to a ghost in the past who has been dead for almost 10 years now.

And Steve says it'll be okay and gets on the fucking machine, the fucking time machine that will take his best friend away from him again. Bucky can't stop looking at him, god he looks like an idiot in that read and white suit but it's his idiot, his idiot who's leaving him behind for a life in the past without asking if he's okay with that. They keep looking at each other while Bruce counts down. “Five, four, three, two, one.” and he's gone, his whole life is gone. 

Bucky isn't surprised when Bruce counts to five again and Steve doesn't appear, but he's disappointed. He had been hoping he'd be wrong. That being dead for 5 years would've somehow affected how much he knew Steve and that it would prove him wrong, but it didn't. 

He was surprised however, when he saw an old figure in a nearby bench. He called for Sam and told him to go first. He had a feeling if he was right about who this was it was gonna be a long conversation. He watched them talk from afar, he could make out a few words from Sam's lips but he wasn't entirely sure of what they were talking about until Sam looked back at him with the shield on his hands. Bucky nodded at him, grateful that it was Sam who was getting the shield, he couldn't think of anyone else better to carry the title. Sam was everything Captain America should be, even if he was damn sure he was going to be so annoying about this.

Bucky saw them exchange a few last words, and Sam came back to where he was standing. “He wants to talk to you.” Bucky nodded at him without taking his eyes off the old man's shape “I'll be with Bruce. Good luck.” Sam said squeezing his flesh shoulder and left heading to where Bruce was checking something on the machine. 

Bucky started walking towards the bench, his stomach heavy with dread and his heart beating too fast. He didn't want to do this, he shouldn't have to do this. But fate and circumstance had him here, about to talk to the person he loves the most in the universe who had somehow lived a whole life without him in the expanse of the 10 seconds.

When he reached the bench he kept his gaze in the water. He couldn't look at the man next to him yet. He couldn't bare to see the proof that he had never been enough for his best friend. At least not yet. Steve may have had a lifetime to prepare for this, but he had had less than 5 minutes.

They stayed silent for a while, none of them knowing what was the right thing to say, until Steve finally spoke. “I've missed you, Buck.” then why did you leave me? If you missed me then why didn't you come back? why did you leave? Bucky wanted to say, but it came out like “I've missed you too, punk.” instead. “Jerk.” Bucky wanted to cry. It all felt so normal when it was not that he felt his eyes watering. He wanted to say so many things, he wanted to ask so many things, but he couldn't think of anything. So instead he asked Steve “What happened?” and pretended he didn't hear his own voice break.

“It's a long story, you sure you have time to listen to an old man talking about his life?” Bucky snorted at that, because despite how broken he felt this was still his Steve, the same little asshole whose ass he had to save every single day from getting kicked in some random backyard because he couldn't look aside when something wrong happened, this was his Steve even if it didn't look like it. “Well I'm 100 years old myself, Stevie, of course i have time.” He heard him laugh at that. His laugh was raspier than usual, but if you ignored that he sounded just the same. 

“Well, when I left to get the stones back to their place in time, I was thinking about going back in time to have that dance with Peggy, but I wasn't planning on staying. I never did.” 

“What?” Bucky finally looked at him. He looked old. His hair was grey and his skin was wrinkled, but his eyes had remained the same. He was still that little guy from Brooklyn in those eyes, they had never changed. Not with the serum, not with age. God Bucky loved those eyes. They had always been his safe space. He always felt like they were still in the 30s and they only thing they had to worry about was Steve getting his ass kicked or getting sick and not fucking aliens. He felt like nothing had changed looking at them, and he needed that more than ever.

“I can't explain it if you interrupt me, Buck.” Steve said smiling.

“Wow age has made you bitchy.” Bucky teased Steve in a low voice. Right now it was the only thing familiar enough that could keep himself from having a meltdown in the middle of the conversation.

Steve pretended he hadn't heard it, or maybe he actually hadn't who knows if he might have lost his hearing with age. “As I was saying before, I never planned on staying in the past. I planned on giving back the stones with less trouble as possible, having that dance with Peggy and come back to the present, but things didn't go as planned with the stones but that's a story for another day. Long story short, when I was leaving the soul stone back in Vormir, I found out that the guy Clint said that guarded the stone was Schmidt and-”

“Wait, what? Schmidt as in Red Skull? The guy we fought in the 40s? How?” 

“He disappeared when he touched the tesseract before I crashed the plane, i figured that's how he ended up there.” He stopped for a few seconds to think and then continued. “Anyways, when I saw him I wanted to kill him. I was so angry, Buck. But he looked changed, didn't resist or fight back when I threw the mjölnir at him. He didn't look like a madman anymore, it was almost as if the stone was the one talking, not him. He said in order to give back the stone I had to throw it off a cliff, the same one Natasha had jumped from.” He stayed silent for a few seconds looking at the water in front of them and then cleared his throat. “When I threw the stone, something happened. The thing with that stone, is that it is all about a soul for a soul, so when I threw it, it gave me back a soul. Natasha came back to life.”

“What?”

“I didn't know how or why but she came back. I told her what had happened and that I was returning the stones and she decided to come with me and then come back. But I hadn't been planning on having someone else with me, and when it was time to come back here, I had to decide whether to come back with her or go back in time one last time and wait until Pym made more so I could come back. 

The thing is, I couldn't come back without trying to change the past, seeing Schmidt again had only made me more determined to do so. Seeing him alive after so long was a reminder of how Hydra had survived too, without people knowing it until it was too late. I kept thinking of how Hydra had been going for so long and how they had tortured you and I couldn't do it. So I decided to go back in time and try again to eradicate Hydra and save you from them, but I couldn't do that alone and used my last pym particles to see the only person I knew that could help me come up with a plan, Peggy. I went to see her after the war and told her everything. About the past, the present, hydra, the avengers and you. She and the howling commandos helped me get you back and then destroy what was left of Hydra before it could go too far. That was like the first fifteen years I was there.”

Bucky was lost at words. He didn't know what to say. Steve had said so many things in so little time his head was having trouble to keep up. Red Skull was still alive? Natasha was back from the dead? He wasn't sure what had exactly happened to her but he was glad she was back, wherever she was. Steve went back to the past, knowing he'd had to stay to save him? His head was about to explode, but he still cleared his throat and asked “What happened then?”

“I tried to lay as low as possible, I had told them where the plain I crashed was, so I couldn't go around yelling my name when the Steve Rogers from that timeline was awake. I kept myself busy until it was time to come back helping Peggy with S.H.I.E.L.D and telling them everything I knew from the future, hoping it would be enough to prevent it. The New York attack, Sokovia, Thanos, everything. I had already changed the timeline so I decided to try to make it as peaceful as possible.”

Bucky nodded. Now that he understood why Steve had done it, he wasn't as angry with him as he was before. It still hurt, but it was manageable. He didn't want to ask, but he couldn't help himself. “And Peggy? What happened with her and you? Did you two-”

“Hell, no. Peggy had already moved on, she had a life and family there I wasn't gonna change that.”

“Then why did you go back to dance with her?” 

Steve shrugged. “I felt like I owe her that dance. It was merely keeping a promise.”

“Okay.” Bucky was glad to hear it. He didn't want to think about why he was, but he was. “What now?”

“For starters, I need you to help an old man get up there's something I wanna do but I need to get to the machine.”

“Okay.” Bucky said, sighing. That damn machine will be the death of him. He took Steve by the elbow and pulled him up with him. Then, they walked together towards where Sam and Bruce where talking near the machine. When they approached them Bucky heard Sam asking Bruce where he finds clothes big enough to fit him in this form.

“Hello Bruce.” Steve said smiling at Bruce.

“Hi Steve,” He said smiling. “I see life has treated you well.”

Steve's smile grew at that .”Yeah.” Steve walked next to Bruce. “You think you could do me a favor?” and pointed at the machine and then at himself. “Remember Scott and the first time we tried?”

Bruce grinned. “Get on the machine.”

“Steve, what are you doing?” Bucky couldn't help it, he had to ask. The last time Steve got on that machine he lost his best friend for 10 seconds and a lifetime, he couldn't help the feeling of dread he felt at seeing him up there again. It must have shown on his face, because Sam put a reassuring hand on his back.

“I have disabled the time GPS and everything is ready to go when you are.” Bruce said after touching some buttons.

Steve looked at Bruce and then locked eyes with Bucky. “I'm ready whenever you are.”

“Okay, five, four, three, two, one…” Steve disappeared for the two longest seconds in Bucky's existence and appeared looking young again, as if he had never left.

“Thank you, Bruce.” Steve said smiling at Bruce before turning back again to look at Bucky.

“What the fuck Steve” and “Does it mean I have to give back the shield?” Bucky and Sam said at the same time. They both glared at each other, before turning back to Steve.

“No, Sam. I meant it. The shield is yours.” Steve said and then squeezed Sam's shoulder.

Bucky couldn't help it any longer and hugged him. He was so overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the last 13 minutes. He felt Steve burying his face on his hair. “I've really missed you.” Bucky heard him whisper against his neck. “Me too, Stevie, me too.” Bucky couldn't explain why, but he had. He knew it had only been 13 minutes to him but 13 minutes in which he had lost his best friend for a lifetime and got him back. God time travel was giving a headache.

When they pulled apart, he felt Steve leave his hand on Bucky's small back and he let himself lean into the touch. They spent some time talking with Sam and Bruce. Steve told them about his trip and about Romanoff. After making some calls, they found out she had gone to Clint's farm and was with them at the time. 

When the conversation about the other timeline had drifted into theories Sam and Bruce were making up, Steve took Bucky by the arm to sat on the bench again.

“What is it?” Steve said looking at Bucky in the soft way that he had always looked at him. The sunset was casting purple and pink shadows on one side his face. He looked ethereal.

“What is what?” He knew what Steve meant, but if he could win some time to figure out how to say it he wasn't gonna say no.

“You've been acting weird the whole evening. You're quieter than usual. Something isn't right, what is it?”

Bucky sighed. “It's nothing. It's not important. Don't worry about it.” He knew Steve wasn't gonna let this go. But if he could ignore this subject for now and let future Bucky deal with it he would.

It was time for Steve to sigh. “Okay, but I'm not letting this go so easily, Buck, we'll talk about it.”

“I know, I know.” Bucky said looking at Steve. His eyes were a mix of blue and purple thanks to the sky. God he is so beautiful, Bucky thought. “Tell me about the other us.”

“The other us?” Steve frowned.

“The ones from the other timeline. What were we like?” 

Steve smiled. “We were happy. I didn't see them that much, but I know we, I mean they, were. After the other Steve got out of the ice and we rescued the other you, they went back to our, their old apartment to live together. I don't know what the other you did for a living, but I know the other Steve helped out Peggy founding S.H.I.E.L.D too.”

“And the other you and Peggy? Did they, you know…?”

“Not as far as I'm concerned. Peggy had already moved on and had started dating his would-be husband, so I don't think so. After we got you out of Hydra's hands, the other Steve was pretty much focussed on you. But as I said before I wasn't that close, so all I know is what Peggy cared to tell me.” 

Bucky frowned. “I thought you would've kept in touch with the other us.”

“I wanted to, but it was hard. Seeing them together so happy, reminded me of you. I wanted to see you, my you, and it was hard seeing another version of you knowing I still had to wait years to come back.” Steve's soft smile broke, leaving a sad look on his face. But as soon as it had broken it was back.

Bucky took one of his hands with his flesh hand and squeezed. “I'm here now, Stevie.” He felt Steve squeeze back and intertwine their fingers. 

“I know.”

Bucky couldn't look away from him. He felt mesmerised by the man in front of him. The man who once broke into enemy lines in the middle of World War II to save him without even knowing if he was still alive. The man that would break him out of 70 years worth of brainwashing. The man who fought his new friends, his family and became a fugitive for him. The man who travelled back in time and stayed to save him. The man who was still that little kid from brooklyn who was too dumb not to runaway from a fight at his heart. I'm so in love with this beautiful amazing without-any-sense-of-self-preservation idiot, he thought. 

“I love you.” Bucky whispered like it was the world most precious secret. Steve smiled at him, the kind of smile that makes your insides come alive.

“I love you too, Buck, I've always had.” Steve used the hand that wasn't intertwined with Bucky's to touch the former’s face. His thumb going back and forward over his cheekbone. “You know the reason why I didn't keep in touch with the other us? Why it was so hard? It was you. Seeing the other you there hurt so much. He looked like you, he sounded like you, but he wasn't you. He wasn't the you I fell in love with. It was difficult to see someone else so close to the man I love, yet so different. We've been through so many things together, some of them so bad. But it got us here. It got you here. I am in love with you. I am in love with the Bucky Barnes I have in front of me, the person who has always been there for me, through every bad and good thing. And I know you think you aren't worth it, but you are. You absolutely are. I would never change anything from you and I hope you know that. You're home James Buchanan Barnes.” 

Bucky felt Steve clean the tear that had escaped his eye with his thumb. He was lost at words. He wanted to tell Steve how much he loved him too. How he was his home too. How he's been in love with him ever since he was 17 and too scared to act on it. He wanted to tell him everything he had been meaning to say for decades now, but instead all it came out was barely the whisper of “Steve”. 

Steve smiled, as if he already knew everything Bucky wanted to say. “Can I kiss you?”

“Of course you can, you punk.” Bucky said already closing the space between them until their lips were almost touching. He felt, more than heard, Steve say “Jerk” before he closed the small gap. The kiss was sweet at first, lips moving against lips. Steve's lips were soft and familiar, as if this was the way it was always supposed to go, and deep down he knew it was the truth. As seconds passed the kiss started to become more passionate, more desperate. There were tongues, hands everywhere until they had to break off for air, resting their foreheads together.

They spent a few more seconds like that, until Steve opened his eyes to locked them with Bucky's and said “‘Till the end of the line?” 

Bucky smiled and kissed him again. “‘Till the end of the line.”


End file.
